Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

"The Nutty Professor: The Musical"

"Jerry Lewis, who played 'The Nutty Professor' in 1963, has a wacky new scheme: staging the film as a Broadway musical. ... Lewis will direct the show, which he aims to have on Broadway by October 2008. ...

"[Michael] Andrew, a 41-year-old crooner and comedian who fronts The Atomic Big Band, is set to play the lead, the bucktoothed Julius Kelp, who invents a potion that transforms him into the suave Buddy Love." --AP via "USA Today"

Personally, I'd rather see "The Patsy: The Luncheon Meat," or "Helen Welenmelon on a StairMaster," or "Hollywood or Bust" implants.

Man, my skin is crawling. This "Nutty Professor" project feels like a disaster to me. I adore the original movie, but the material is and always will be a Jerry Lewis star vehicle. The comedy is personality tailored. What makes it good is Jerry and that doesn't translate to other performers.

A "Nutty Professor" play without him is like those giant cartoon character costumes walking around DisneyWorld with Teamsters inside. Everybody's disappointed it's not the real Goofy.

What's next, Jer? "The Geisha Boy" as "The Gay Shemale?"

I exchanged exasperated messages concerning "The Nutty Professor" musical all day. Then, Frank Thompson writes me:

Who's the guy we're thinking of?
Buddy Love! Buddy Love!
Who's the hipster's turtle dove?
Buddy Love! Buddy Love!

He never needs help
he's never yella
but just like Kelp
he must have that Stel-la!

Bud.
Dee.
Looooooove!

You know, ... it ... just ... might ... WORK!

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