100 Things About Me

#20

I should sue for the insult!

I tire of new stuff quickly.

Case in point, here's a true story about my recently refurbished face.

Standing in line at the movie theatre, I turned to Donna before we proceeded to the cashier's window. I said, "Are you tired of the beard, yet?"

I am.

She, however, said, "No." Then, she walked over to the box office and ordered, "Two for 'Sideways.'"

The guy punched the ticket machine keyboard and demanded, "13 dollars."

Immediately, I looked at Donna and said, "I'm keeping the beard."

My whiskers are money in the bank. I knew 13 dollars was so 1997. Obviously, the cashier had seen my white beard and made a mistake, believing I qualified for the Senior Citizen's discount. We saved $4.50!

There was no conversation whatsoever about me being old enough. In fact, I'm years away from eligibility for their Senior perk. I'm still trying to decide what I wanna be when I grow up.

My feelings were hurt, but only about two dollars and nine cents worth. I was in profit and rolling hard this night. I be a playa!

We went inside and I slapped $4.50 of authentic American currency on the candy counter. Everyone was impressed. I could tell. Not many movie patrons can make the cash down payment on Twizzlers.

#1 | Previous | Next

Photo copyright ©2005 Mike Durrett. All rights reserved.