This Be the Week This Be

And now, the news...

Opening in theatres: "Alien vs. Predator." ... Original Title: "Unsuspecting Multiplex Boob With a Wallet vs. 20th-Century Fox."

Fay Wray, King Kong's girlfriend, has died at the age of 96. In addition to the classic 1933 film, "King Kong," she's remembered for her tune, "You Don't Bring Me Towers."

Researchers say cats have more than 100 vocal sounds. I have that many just for back pain.

And I'm up to 309 for broken ATM pieces of junk.

From "GQ":

"Ever since George W. Bush entered politics, he has been dogged by questions about his whereabouts during a twelve-month period from May 1972 to May 1973. It has been alleged that Bush, then a 26-year-old pilot in the Air National Guard, hardly ever reported for duty. ... That's because during the period in question, Bush was serving his country elsewhere, in a clandestine military unit: the Special Undercover Missions Service (SUMS), an elite air-force agency specializing in national security and acts of espionage."

"My name's Bush. George Bush. I'll have a Yoo-Hoo and Jack, shaken not spurred."

He was 007, a spy, working on hush-hush military missions in Vietnam, going undercover with The Rolling Stones, and unknowingly driving the getaway van at Watergate. That and Burt Bacharach sounds like the next Austin Powers movie, "On the President's Secret Service."

"I'm George W. Bush and I approved this massage, my dear Push-shee."

And now, getting up, and walking over to The Opinion Desk, here's an editorial....

Dairy Queen has a new coffee treat, but I don't much care for it. Oh, the drink is dandy tasty. I don't like the part where I have to corral someone to order it for me, since there's no way in hell I'm saying "MooLattè."

And now, getting up, and walking back to The News Desk, here's more news....

An Al Qaeda video tape made two years ago has surfaced. It's believed to be surveillance in preparation for attacks on Las Vegas. Details are sketchy, but the public should brace for a show tiger ambushing Roy.

Moreover, Las Vegas police have upped terror security, implementing border searches to prevent comebacks by Allen & Rossi and The Jordanaires.

Elderly "Playboy" playgramps Hugh Hefner, according to a report from Knight Ridder Newspapers, "keeps a dozen 'slave bunnies' who are ordered to have sex with him (for $2,000 a week)." Adding another wrinkle, Hef says it's no big thing.