Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

100 Things About Me #76-83

Eight Things About Me I Didn't Know About Me
My long-term memory loss must be boundless or my folks didn't share the family secrets. I dunno.

Thank goodness, the Internet knows all, reveals all. I looked up my personal history at The Mechanical Trivium and gleaned some startling information!

You may be seated.

1. Mike Durrett can be found on a Clue board between the Library and the Conservatory.

2. Mike Durrett can give birth 10 days after being born, and is born pregnant!

3. A Mike Durrettometer is used to measure Mike Durrett!

4. If you lace Mike Durrett from the inside to the outside, the fit will be snugger around your big toe.

5. In Japan, Mike Durrett can only be prepared by chefs specially trained and certified by the government.

6. Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of Mike Durrett in a day.

7. Ninety-nine percent of the pumpkins sold in the U.S. end up as Mike Durrett!

8. Mike Durrett was the first Tsar of Russia.

This uneasy feeling I'm getting is not good. Perhaps I'm the sequel to "The Da Vinci Code," too?

You may rise.

I gotta run....


The Mechanical Contrivium, via About Humor

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