Thoughts During 'Jersey Boys'

We were very entertained with the national tour of "Jersey Boys," Broadway's biographical salute to iconic vocalists Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons.

Some thoughts during the performance:
  • It's "Dreamgirls" with Dreamguys singing like Dreamgirls.

  • I had forgotten The Four Seasons' falsetto harmonizing. That explains the puppies in the cheap seats.

  • I'm thrilled! The music's really clearing my ear wax.

  • All this pleasurable squealing brings back memories. I haven't thought of my twisted testicle since fifth grade.

    I'm better now and basso profundo.

    Even on my "eeks!"

  • Am I the only one wondering why we haven't heard much from Frankie Valli since the invention of automatic garage doors?

  • Oh, to have eavesdropped a summit with Mickey Mouse, The Four Seasons, and Julia Child, dishing Pluto, Sherry Baby, and chard.

  • Where are the wigs? These boys had long hair in the '70s. I want my money back. Or, at least, an autographed Prell.

  • If I had a boy band gimmick, it wouldn't be warbling like girls. I hanker a quartet of pufferfish sound-alikes with slow leaks.

  • While spinning Frankie records on the radio, I've been known to back-announce, "'My Eyes Adored You,' which is... a funny place for a door."
I've been out of broadcasting for decades. Go figure.
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