My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less
I'm thinking about putting an Adventure Island in our creek. We'd have bees and sell taffy. This is a VERY slow little town.
News Item: "Bank teller recognizes customer as man who exposed himself at Starbucks." ... Must've been the stir stick.
I'm considering changing my name. So far, the only one not taken is Photos of Food Durrett. ... I'll ask my wife, Dessert Durrett....
I've noticed my recent, unprecedented usage of the contraction: "shan't." What's next? A top hat and ascot?
Off with the garbage to the county dump, if they'll let me in. We always argue semantics. I say kitty poop IS recycling....
Drat. I just realized because I gave up dairy, my brownie points are worthless.
I'm cutting THE FINAL GLASS OF MILK 2 video together. How exciting! I'm starting to curdle. Catch up: http://is.gd/19lVm
Thinking I'll fire up the lawnmow-- What's on TV?
True Fact: The average person spends three years of life sitting on a toilet. I go for the accent pillows.
I don't know why I love westerns. I spend half the film analyzing how truly awful the people smell. Give Ernie Borgnine a towelette, please.
I've reached an age where I must acknowledge my shortfallings. Where's my moat with the troll?
To which, @WH2H_Radio asks:
"WHAT? You've lost your moat-con-troll??"
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