Could We Add the Mikeyfingers to the Menu, Please?

CHARLESTON, South Carolina, South Carolina Aquarium -- The piranha tank. Voracious appetites with fins.

These deadly flesh shredders remained motionless during my entire viewing. I think they were waiting for their lunch check.

It occurred to me: serves them right. They probably ate the waitress.

I poked on the glass until my little time-out with Stubby the Guide. He said he had first hand information poking tended to annoy the fish.

I held up an 8x10 of Dom DeLuise. Piranhas seem to like him. How else can we explain the smacking ovation?

I hadn't realized piranhas are freshwater carnivores. I'm sure this notion will contribute to my fear of sitz baths.

Fortunately, on becoming a vegetarian, I all but gave up my soaky toys of meat.

--Oh, how stupid of me. A sign! I've had a sign!

I can see now I may be in imminent piranha danger. At my house, Mr. Bubble skippers a submersible.

He's employed a safety measure. And there I was figuring he didn't have access to Internet porn.

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