The Passion of the Mike

The Gospel According to Durrett

Thou shalt not Hip-Hop. Love thy Bunny Hop.

Thou shalt have no god before Judge Judy. God has diplomatic immunity and a big stick and looks bad in a tie.

'Thou shalt not take thy name of thy Lord, your God, in vain, but feel free to ask, ''WHACHOOTALKINABOUT, Moses?!''

Remember thy Sabbath day, to keep it holy, and to catch ''The Simpsons" on FOX. Next, see Liza Minnelli on an all-new "Arrested Development!"

Thy Combover.com comforts me for I am not one of them.

Thou shalt not kill, which is why I write so lame.

Go forth and multiply, but never ask a bobbleheaded goon to check thy spelling.

Reassess thy Charo. She's really quite talented.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house; thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is thy neighbor's. Batteries not included. Not applicable in New Jersey. Wednesday is Ladies' Night; one per coveter.

Thou shalt not steal. Forward thy links.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Thou shalt not bare false breasts on "Girls Gone Wild!"

Honor thy mother and thy father and my expired Blimpie's coupons.

::::: More: Holy Babble: Ask Humor Boy

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