Heave-Ho Ho Ho

Mike bids farewell to the yuletide tree.

There's a joke going around about the Super Bowl halftime show. People are wondering if Janet Jackson's boob saw its shadow.

Oh, I love the jolliness, but, seriously, the next morning, February 2, our Christmas tree did not see its shadow, so I took the beauty down six weeks early.

Mike removes his cherished Wienermobile. It is time. The mustard has hardened.

We always try to nestle the Christmas ornaments snug in their boxes and back into the shed by March 20. That's my birthday and we've got a schedule to keep here, people.

We reclaim the space in our living room for the Mikemas kudzu. Living in the South, we insist on a regional flair during the birthday festivities.

Mikemas, 2002: Morty peers through kudzu from atop his perch on the TV console. Like any cat, he loves to jump and hide in the holiday vines.

By the way, we're in talks for licensing Mikemas celebration franchises, so put those Christmas trees in storage now. We may be coming to your town.

Generally, without water and setting our total electric heat to 90°, the kudzu is swift to die after Mikemas. We see the sofa peep out around May 11. The ottoman is usable June 4. The Great Sweep the Crib Weekend ("Bekudz We Care") is set for the first Saturday in August. We're off Monday and Tuesday. The Christmas tree moves in the next morning at 9, 8 Central. Feliz Navidad!