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My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less 
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. The PajamaGram ads are back.
News item: "Johnny Knoxville Promises AVATAR Technology In JACKASS 3D." ... Ahh, Christmas came early and squirrely.
Quote I Read: "AVATAR Is Like The iPhone Of Movies" ... What? Overly expensive and something I can easily do without?
I come to you today with an apology. For decades, I have confused the epiglottis with the uvula. Alas, I learn. My life is now blemished.
Heard on the Radio: How ugly is [this] Christmas sweater? ... "My German Shepherd is afraid of it."
To whomever invented lunch: My lap napkin is off to you.
Few people tell me, "I love you." The closest I get is an occasional "Tasty mango sauce."
Headline: "Man says image of Jesus appears on truck window." Obviously, we travel in different circles. I scrape Madonna off my shoes.
So far we've had zero inches of snow in Georgia. To help morale, a neighbor is buying everyone shakes at Sonic. I'll pour mine on our steps.
Headline: "Dunkin Donuts now serves tuna." ... Um, yes, I'd like a raspberry-filled fish, Dunkaccino with scales, and a bone in my cruller.

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