Raisin Hell

Continued From: "Scooby-Doo Tooth Goo," part of a thread starting with "Cents and Sensibility."

Ewww. People buy this stuff? Carrot and raisin salad?

At school, if we weren't fortunate enough to brown bag lunches from home, we were subjected to the lackadaisical sorceries of the cafeteria staff, which meant we were force-fed the never-ending stream of carrot and raisin salads.

Gross, man, wasn't hip, nor groovy. Just tepid mayonnaise with carrot shavings and rabbity raisins.

In my senior class alone, we had nine boys hold up liquor stores and gas stations to go eat better in prison. One brought his own fork to the line-up, with a signed confession and a drool cup.

On special occasions, the school dietitian sent down orders to prepare the glop backwards. We'd have that new taste sensation: raisin and carrot salad!

Our taste buds did The Twist and The Hully Gully on those days and then it was back to carrots and raisins. Our taste buds went over and sat in the corner because no one asked them to dance.

I haven't touched either recipe since I graduated from high school. It's been decade after decade of uninterrupted bliss, sidestepping carrot and raisin salads.

I figure I need to live and abstain another 6,793 years to have eaten my statistical fair share.

And don't get me started on the beagle pudding....

Continued: "Star Sighting"
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...