Top 10 Medical Revelations at My Annual Physical Examination

10. Orchestra seating now wheelchair accessible.

9. Fasting includes Happy Mealless and toy.

8. Butt imprint on paper sheeting: New religion at eBay!

7. Urology lab apple juice still tastes bitter.

6. Doctor's probe gloves: Deep green for that fondled by Herman Munster feeling.

5. Petroleum jelly no longer refrigerated. Cooled by glare of Teresa Heinz Kerry.

4. Ragu Sauced believed treatable.

3. Checking Prostate renamed Checking, Point, and Plug.

2. For $10 more, Doc rotated my shoes, topped off fluids, and Dustbustered my socks.

And the number one medical revelation during my annual physical examination...

Back moles not cancerous, but best to set them free to burrow lawns.
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