Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

Incomings

Actual Letters to Mike Durrett
Continued From: "Incomings" and "Incomings"

Oh, goody, pinch me. It's another comedy quiz from radio historian Bob Middleton (a k a Bob Walker). Bob has a box of jokes I wrote three decades ago and he likes to test my memory of such international treasures and gut-busting antiquities, when he's not wallowing in same highly venerated box.

One of the following bits was written by someone other than Mikey. Am I up to the task of fingering it?

May I have the one-liners and the finger, please.

Bob

It's time for that great radio fun game, "Who Said That?"

  • Coming up: The Muppet Kidney Chorus does its rendition of "It's Impassable."

  • Things to Do Today:

    • Give a propeller beanie to a rabbi.
    • Drool excessively in a urologist's office.

  • Lawrence Welk knew his show was canceled when he discovered Tums in his bubble machine.

  • Summer Camp Tip: Avoid camps that have signs of Truman Capote wearing knee pants.

  • Today on TV: Orson Welles and Shelley Winters will discuss noises they consider embarrassing.

Now tell me, who said that?

Mike

This is an easy one. All are mine, except Orson and Shelley, but I'm locating the Febreze, nevertheless.  

Bob

You are right, nipple nose. For your prize, you get a riding weed eater.

Coming up next, our feature film with Charlie Sheen. You will hear Charlie say, "Does this look infected?"

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