One Night Only! The Mike Durrett Dancers!

Production Assistance by JibJab

I can't believe I let Lester talk me into this. He yearns for me to be on "Dancing With the Stars," something I absolutely refuse to consider. I have no desire to trip over Leeza Gibbons' feet.

"She seems very nice," I said. "I'd split a sammich with her, but no bolero-mambos."

"What about St. Paddy's Day with The Mike Durrett Dancers?" Lester asked.

"There are no Mike Durrett Dancers, guy. I set 'em free after the fair."

"Oh, Connie and me can do it," he begged, "and we'll slip some cheeseburgers to a couple of homely girls down at the Sonic."

"Yeah, you do that, Lester," I said dismissively.

The next thing I knew I was before the cameras this evening, dancing a jig on our local public access television station. We were on after the religious ventriloquist, us doing the warm-up for the elderly lacing footballs.

The musical clip posted above is the result. I'm the man in black. Lester and Connie, my clones, are in the line. I refuse to single them out because, frankly, they embarrass me.

What you see is my luck, the luck of the partially Irish. Now, I've got some more exhaling to do....
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