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My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less

"FRIDAY THE 13th Producer Already Talking Sequel." No! Who would have thunk it? Another FRIDAY THE 13th movie! It simply never happens.

@michael_bay asks: "What's the hardest thing about launching a flaming killer whale over an Airbus A380?" Easy. Aiming the Blubberpult.

The Situation Room we built onto our house was money well spent. So far, it's been mostly crises involving extra Fancy Feast and fur balls.

[Reply to:] @Lileks - Oh, great. Now you've put the theme to VERTIGO into my head. Thanks. The day's shot. Must start stalking.

[Reply to:] @Lileks - Oddly enough, I do often hum the theme to NORTH BY NORTHWEST -- and PSYCHO. Got me onto the welcoming committee down at the coven.

Hate to be this way, but I just told my wife the bad news. I'm leaving her for my electric blanket. I am very much in love -- and hott!

@quotations posted this from Rita Rudner: "I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."

Me? I've been a vegetarian for 20 years. I do wear more greens, spend quality time with baby broccoli, and vacation on the Thousand Islands.

I get no privacy. A bellhop just strolled through my house, yelling, "PajamaGram for Mongo! ... PajamaGram for Mongo!..."

Mongo like PajamaGram.

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