Even More Terribly Abnormal Bad News

First, my cat dies and the Weedwacker works and the air is let out of my chef's hat and Popeye's bye-bye and a turban's AWOL and the broccoli's cockamamie and a sex scandal looms and "wash me."

Now, Matt Damon quits!

"Jason Bourne is at it again as the expert assassin and secret agent [in] 'The Bourne Ultimatum,' the third and reportedly last in the trilogy of films based on Robert Ludlum's novels... [following 'The Bourne Identity' and 'The Bourne Supremacy.']

"'It's the end,' Damon said. 'I can't imagine how we could go on with the story beyond this.'" --"The Virginian-Pilot"

What?! Wait!!!

What about "The Bourne Hungry Hungry Hippos?"
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