Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

Glamour Snapz: The Mike Durrett Shoot

Glamour Snapz welcomed my wallet with open arms. My clones, Connie and Lester, and I fared even better, as we thrive under the direction of indifferent, pretentious wait-zombies.

Turns out the Glamour Snapz full service package includes trendsetter wardrobe fittings, hair styling, and a varied assortment of nicotine gum smacks by the photographer in between nose-smoke made possible by a generous grant from trout-lipped puffs on a slut bomb Kool.

And to add excitement and spontaneity to the heady process, the staff piped loud music into the studio and told us to feel the beat and "work it, baby, work it; you, too, aged throwback." (I expect that last part was aimed at me, but I was too busy gauzing my hernia to notice.)

My session's medley included the latest Maceo And The Macks and Lipps, Inc., plus "I Love the Nightlife, I Got to Boogie on the Disco 'Round, Oh Yea, if the Disco Krispy Kreme Throws Us Out for Snorting Powdered Sugar Off a Cruller, Oh Yea."

I asked if I could make a long distance dedication of "Your Sweetness Is My Weakness," but the coiffure artist spritzed me with an unidentifiable Marvy product knock-off and said, "Cuddle break, five minutes, 'poo sink."

I was the first to face the camera because Lester said, "Age before beauty," and Connie said, "I've got a gun. Vogue."

I think the pictures came out rather nicely. I've found my Christmas card!


Video of my session is online at Muglets.

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