Suffering Succotashes

Our clan's Thanksgiving feast is always a treat, especially when I get to watch vaguely familiar carnivores I haven't seen since last November rip apart and devour a champion turkey, who probably had better things to do.

"Why is there Stovetop Stuffing in the eggplant?"

Celebrating my 15th Thanksgiving as a vegetarian, I undertook 30 minutes of table glory in a brisk, skillful clip, chomping and slurping around the meat and fowl. I was blessed to scarf down enough food and fizzy pop to transport me into bend-over cramps nirvana.

When I get cramps, moan for a cot, and stupor my way into assorted in-laws and chives, I know I'm the happy guest -- usually at the moment I pass out on the poodle and mutter disparagements at the umbrella urn.

What was delightful to the banqueting tongue? Succotash. Donna made succotash and so did Lynn. My wife's recipe is secret, but nobody reads this, so I'll share it with you. She mixes kernels of corn with lima beans.

I guess that explains why Lynn's succotash, although tasty, was different. I pulled her aside and discovered her recipe calls for mixing lima beans with kernels of corn. Ahhhh, hahhhh! Yes, nuances make the cheffff.

For the remainder of this holiday weekend, I'll be finishing the succotash and three leftover casseroles. There's a brocolli and rice casserole, a brocolli and rice casserole, and a brocolli and rice casserole. I'm eating a brocolli and rice casserole sandwich as I type. What I did was: improvise in the kitchen. Two pieces bread, brocolli, rice. It's yummy, but could use some more and.

Later, we're having broccoli and rice casserole soup for dinner, broccoli and rice casserole a la mode for dessert and, then, for snacking, hot, melted broccoli and rice casserole popcorn while we watch some James Bond movies -- good ones produced by Cubby Broccoli.

Tomorrow morning, as soon as I consume Lucky Charms with tiny bits of broccoli and rice casserole ("It's vegically delicious!"), a broccoli and rice casserole omelet, and hash browns, scattered, smothered, covered, riced, broccolied, casseroled, I plan to start whining with diligence until I get a change of diet. Before Saturday is done, my friend, I shall be pigging on brocolli and rice casserole s'mores!