Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

Top 10 Pickup Lines for the Elderly Swinger

Talk the talk. Walk the walker.
10. "Can I pick up your umbrella? Can I pick up your sandwich? Can I pick up your teeth?"

9. "Your ointment is so hot."

8. "You have a voice like Perry Como and a hair like Perry Combover."

7. "Can I show you a new wrinkle? How about an underaged crease?"

6. "I like a guy with body tics. Shake it, cowboy! Nothin' says lovin' like somethin' movin'!"

5. "You sag like a 50-year-old, Cutie."

4. "Let's bang a gong and get it on! Well, in your case, spoon some gruel and puff a Kool."

3. "You make me feel like feelin' something.

"I'll get back to you.

"Later.

"If I remember.

"And I feel like it."

2. "I couldn't help being enchanted. Your fox wrap doesn't munch its own tail."

And the number one Pickup Line for the Elderly Swinger...

"Hey, baby, buy you an I.V.?"

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