Meet the Neighbors

You may know about the 24-hour all-you-can-eat buffet we operate in our driveway, but you might not know we have been fighting the installation of a sneeze guard over the serving table.

And now, thanks to this hare-brain, the county says we must install a cottontail guard....

Attention Neighbors!: Do Not Sit on the Food!

Off the Wall

Saving Facebook: My Confessions: 

On My Birthday 

Mike 
A certain little girl I married 30 years ago, who will go nameless, gifted me Blu-ray BAMBI & a talking, thumping Thumper doll. She so knows me.

Friend Mark
Still my favorite Disney flick, followed by the one about the wooden kid and the bug with a top hat.

Mike
Jiminy, I don't recall the bug's name.

On Working in a Movie Theatre Snack Bar

Mike
I'm still smarting [because] a customer back in 1965 was verbally displeased the 12-ounce JUMBO cola cup filled with ice was "far too much to drink!" How dare we? And for all of 15 cents!!

How things have changed. The SMALL soda at the theatre the other night came with a pool boy.

Friend Frank Thompson
I bought a large diet Coke at a drive-through the other day and it was so gargantuan I had to make Claire sit in the back seat so I'd have a place to set it. I have to admit it was a thirst-quencher, though.

Friend Stan
As Jay Leno said in his act, "The popcorn comes in this huge Rubbermaid tub. It's not food at this point; it's feed!"

On the World Today

Friend Mark
Thinking of protesting Modern Times - going back to using a rotary phone and writing letters with a fountain pen and paper.

Mike
Get out those pin-ups of Clara Barton.

On Facebook "Pokes"

Mike
I have just *poked* my radio partner. I don't know if that qualifies as swag or payola? Nevertheless, he's going to long-distance dedicate Kyu Sakamoto's "Sukiyaki" to me and my love.

I must have been the 12th poker.

Friend / Radio Partner Bob Middleton
I will play the Singing Nun for you. Can't find "Sukiyaki," but thanks for the poke.

Kyu Sakamoto! Ha. I must go to YouTube and give it a spin.

I got poked at the mall the other day... I'm going back today.

On the Wedding Party

Mike
I'm in a wedding this weekend. It's quite an honor, although I'm not certain of my duties. Something something The Flower Geezer.

Brother Bob
You wearing a tux with your black sneakers?

Mike
That is so gauche. Black suit with my black sneakers.

Bob
Yeah, I guess that is more like it. None of us learned how to tie a bow tie anyway.

Mike
Being a semi-formal wedding, I'm wearing the spinning DayGlo bow tie. It's a clip-on. And it plays "Taps."

Festive ... and for lovers.

Behind the Scenes: The Making of 'Double Feature Puppies'

Here are several snapshots from our recent production meeting for this blog's motion pictures post, "Double Feature Puppies: 'Breakfast at Ginger's' and 'Tucker at the Piano.'" Morty led the session at the computer screen, as usual, bragging about how he was an early adopter of Tabby browsing. He also insisted he is instinctually superior at mousing.

I think he may have mewed, "This is my work."

Unions.

Morty thought this sequence was ridiculous and beyond belief. Dogs don't fuss over bananas and they certainly aren't fans of wrist watches. He pitied the spots, pathetically unconvincing.

Morty did not plan to feature this movie in his presentation, but his first choice was not available. Just as well, Morty believes "The Black Swan" would have been much better with a canary.

"Schnoodle. He has got to be kidding."

Big Weekend

Big weekend, watching the all-dancing, all-recycled-worn-out-moldy-oldies Broadway review, "Burn the Floor," or, as I like to call it, "Mambo Mia."

Curtain rises. First glimpse: a disco ball.

First reaction: Leap to my feet, "Taxi!!!"

Two hours of sweaty, herky-jerky, half-naked spunky-funky trying to convince me they are The Chosen Hipsters. That's a show; accept this $66.40.

Can someone confirm I'm not delirious? I've had no Tainted Hollandaise Smoothies. Just some Season Tickets Hell.

And nail your shoes to the floor. I'm in no mood to squint footwork.

Double Feature Puppies: 'Breakfast at Ginger's' and 'Tucker at the Piano'

My pussycat may be letting success go to his head ever since becoming a movie star ("Morty's Excellent Day," "Scenes From a Drive-in Movie").

I've walked in several times to find Morty watching Web videos on the computer, meowing under his breath, wide-eyed with ridiculous glee. I suspect he's muttering, "Stupid dog" or "Doofus dog" or "Can I get some more mice over here?"

His latest sarcasms were directed at these, to borrow a phrase, Americanine idols.



"Breakfast at Ginger's" via YouTube


"Tucker at the Piano" via YouTube

Thanks to Anita Carter Hillman.

Slackjaw Dumbstruck: 'Pink Armadillo Attack!'

Wines are sweet, but either too red or too white for this connoisseur's tastes, so my wine of choice is Pepto-Bismol.

Image by QuinnDombrowski via Flickr

Sometimes I drink way too much of the elixir and sometimes I'm surprised to see my drunken stupors materialize in the cinema. I must babble.

Ah, here's one. I remember this trippin', man, from that righteous college weekend during Sprink breag.

I still have not a clue as to what it means and the aftershock cold sweats are making me soppy....



"Pink Armadillo Attack!" via YouTube

Mikellaneous

My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter: 

Item: "Marvel’s THE AVENGERS to Be Partially Filmed in Ohio." Gee, exciting. What are they avenging? Grain Sorghum?

Tonight's Movie: THE SOCIAL NETWORK (2010) — I am dreading the #@%&*!! Farmville.

I like to wash my paws with a bar of soap. Wife prefers a liquid dispenser which is often empty. There may be fisticuffs with dirty hands.

Rewatched THE UNINVITED (1944). Mistake. Broke my rule of no ghost movies after midnight. I'll be up all decade. I want my Nana....

Before the invention of the sandwich, where did one place one's frilly toothpicks?

I just now had a visit from a door-to-door meat salesman. My fault. I looked at my watch. It stopped in 1961.

Today, for the first time ever, I used the word "coinkydinks." Scratch "coinkydinks" from my Bucket List. Knit butter pats suit & I'm toast.

Now playing on my radio's limited display screen: "SOMEWHERE IN TIM with Art Bell."

Reading: Robt. B. Parker's BRIMSTONE. My 1st large print book, not becuz I need it. Becuz it's hot in here & page turns come fast & cooling.

Reading: GETTING MOM ONTO INTERNET A SISYPHEAN ORDEAL. onion.com/boKD5q — Sheesh, I shudder from introducing Mom to The Gum That Squirts.

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Remembering Elizabeth Taylor

Elizabeth Taylor: "What's My Line?" Mystery Guest (1954) via YouTube 
My favorite Elizabeth Taylor movies are the early ones, starting with, in a small role, the wonderful "Lassie Come Home" (1943) and, in full a-star-is-born mode, "National Velvet" (1944). The others I like are "Little Women" (1949), "Father of the Bride" (1950), "Father's Little Dividend" (1951), "A Place in the Sun" (1951), and "Giant" (1956).

Elizabeth Taylor is connected to two milestones in my life, working at the Emory Theatre in Atlanta, GA. When I wasn't selling popcorn, I was in training to become a professional motion picture machine operator, a dream for this boy, age 11-12.

• I accomplished my first big deal reel-to-reel change-over from one projector to the next during our showings of her movie "The V.I.P.s" (1963).
• Throughout the weeks of "Cleopatra" (1963), I was taught how to thread the 35mm film into the machines with precision.

Image via WikipediaI have clear, fond memories of those days and I especially recall the final footage of "Cleopatra" reel #2. Cleo undergoes a nude body massage, exposing heretofore uncharted-by-Mikey bosom.

Although the scene doesn't last long, I never missed observing the end of reel #2 each time we ran the epic. I didn't know exactly why I was fascinated with her flesh. I just knew I was fascinated. Exactly.

Plus, I wondered, "Is 48 B.C. her bra size?" They said she was in 48 B.C.

I grasped nothing of ancient history, nor ancient lingerie.

Nevertheless, my training with Elizabeth Taylor was not only professional, but also enlightening!

'Around the World,' Around Back

You may have noticed this remark in my Twitter meanderings: 

Tonight, I will be going around the world in 80 days. And because I am a time traveler, I will be doing it in 1956 in 3 hours and 2 minutes.

Image via Wikipedia

A reference to Michael Todd's 1956 Oscar-winning Best Picture, "Around the World in Eighty Days."

To be precise, in 182 minutes.

Indeed, I did embark on the cinematic tour for the third time since the late '60s' 70mm big screen re-release. I was quite pleased to revisit my favorite sequence of the epic production: the end credits. Designed by the influential graphics artist Saul Bass and scored with Victor Young's Academy Awarded music, the animated footage clocks in at six minutes, the length of an entire theatrical cartoon of its day

Movie Title Stills Collection, a fine resource, adds:

The closing credits Saul Bass created for "Around the World in Eighty Days" were the longest and most expensive credits ever made, at the time. They cost $65,000. Every frame of the title sequence was handmade.

Watch closely, the main titles video below, as the travel itinerary and plot of the film are recapped, along with the appearance points of the multitude of stars on view during the live-action portion of the journey.

Go ahead and roll it. Learn "'Who Was Seen in What Scene ... And Who Did What."

I'll take my Dramamine, grab the luggage, get a body search, and join you....



"Around the World in Eighty Days" Title Sequence via YouTube

I Got Nuthin'

Consolation Video: "Toddlers & Tiaras With Tom Hanks" via "Jimmy Kimmel Live" on YouTube

Big Weekend

Big weekend, Springing into the yard, meeting and greeting the first weed of the season! 

Collect the whole series.

Cartoon Carnival

Chilly Willy in "The Legend of Rockabye Point" (Tex Avery, 1955) via YouTube 



Sam Sheep-Dog and Ralph Wolf in "Ready, Woolen and Able" (Chuck Jones, 1960) via YouTube



Foghorn Leghorn and Henery Hawk in "Crowing Plans" (Robert McKimson, 1947) via YouTube

Slackjaw Dumbstruck: 'Baby Gets Scared When Mom Blows Her Nose'

This time, the subject of the video becomes slackjaw dumbstruck, in addition to me watching the strange behavior.



"Baby Gets Scared When Mom Blows Her Nose" via YouTube
I know a man who reacted like this to pretty much anything I ever said or did -- except the laughing part. It can be a bit disconcerting.

Off the Wall

Saving Facebook: My Confessions: 

On the Movies 

Mike 
I am thrilled TCM's new season of THE ESSENTIALS will celebrate my most admired film comedy, W.C. Fields' riotous THE BANK DICK (1940). And, yes, I would like to have a nose like that full of nickels.

Friend Mark
I see one of my other all-time favorites on that list -- GUNGA DIN. I'll be tuning in to catch that one -- but bringing my own water!

Mike
Arrive early and we'll fix Gunga Dinner. Thank you. Goodnight, everybody!

And for you at the kiddies' table, Gunga Din-din. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress. Try the couscous.

On Excitement

Mike
Hello. My name is Mike. And a hotdog makes me lose control.

Friend Don
I adore the Minuet. The Ballet Russe. And Crêpe Suzette.

Mike
We're one-pair of matching bookends, different as night and day.

On 'The Happy Years'

Friend Frank Thompson
‎"The Happy Years," one of Wild Bill Wellman's most enjoyable films.

Mike
I remember watching a 16mm print of this movie at your apartment around 1981. Are there any more of those cookies?

Oh. And I could see it again.

Frank
Yes, a couple of the cookies are left but I think now you'd have to dunk....

On Momentary Insanity

Friend Claire
Went crazy this morning and turned the heat up to 67!

Mike
You Hollywood types.

What's next? Toast?

On Self-Examination

Friend Bill
Once again today, I'm amazed but not surprised.

Mike
Today, I'm congealed, but not syrup.

Meanwhile...

Morty's joining me in celebrating Jerry Lewis' 85th birthday today. That snoopy cat jumped onto my desk and computer while I was looking at Jerry video from German television. Morty went nuts following the musical pantomime. He'd track Jerry around the screen and enthusiastically scratch and thrash at the comedian to obliterate him from this earth.

I was proud Morty could observe man at his most dignified.

We watched the silliness four times. Here it is:



Jerry Lewis: "Am Laufenden Band" (1977) via YouTube

Mikellaneous

My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter: 

I'm on a drug and it's called Charlie Sheen. I think this is the one where you lick a frog & write it a check for $50 grand.

I was pleased to snub HARRY POTTER to watch THE WINNING TEAM (1952) instead. I find Doris Day much more bewitching.

Our small town SONIC drive-in reopened after more than a year of being closed. We're excited to have a *new* place with nothing we can eat.

Watching: AH, WILDERNESS! (1935) — I like a movie where everyone gets excited over punch. I could go for some punch....

I've finally put my finger on it. The worst part of dying is the food service just ends.

Saw Robt. Downey's SHERLOCK HOLMES, liked it, but when did Holmes become an action hero? Dr. Watson in spandex tights & cape is troubling.

Item: "A rhinoceros can ejaculate 10 times in a half-hour lovemaking session." ... Well, duh. Of course he can. He's horny.

I was at the library desk, renewing my book, when I looked down and someone had returned CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS. Kismet, kiddies.

I'm on a drug and it's called Mike Durrett. I'm in that wild state of naps and Velveeta.

Item: 3-D version of STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM MENACE coming Feb. 10, 2012. — Okay, but retooled R23-D2 and C3-DPO?

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Big Weekend

Big weekend, watching my mouth. 

I had several friends, including the dear wife, insist I try some creepy Seaweed Snack.

Blech and nope.

What is so hard to understand about "I don't eat seafood!"