My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter:
Saw America's favorite cowboys, Riders in the Sky, in concert. Afterwards, let's just say, cowgirl yodeling is no longer on my bucket list.
I gave up meat in 1989 and now I'm escalating to the next step. No more "This Little Piggy." I am whee-wheed out.
Headline: "Colin Farrell Front Runner To Star in TOTAL RECALL Remake." Gee, I'm not finished being totally unimpressed with the first one.
Again? I wrongly received the Senior Citizen movie ticket discount without asking for it. I don't know whether to be $3 richer or insulted.
Uh oh. My skinny jeans exploded! Watch out, New Zealand!! Hand me that towel, Donna....
I trimmed the hedges, but my wife didn't look to see my rippled muscles in action. All that muscle rippling for nothing. Nothing.
It's official. Less than one day after my 2nd cataract surgery, I can see 20/20 and my phantasms are RCA recording artists Homer and Jethro.
Eating half off Halloween candy ... Only half the calories...
Item: "Justin Bieber now has his own fragrance line." He seems like an OK chap, but I don't care to smell like McFlurrys & scorched hair.
I'm in a wedding this weekend. It's quite an honor, although I'm not certain of my duties. Something something The Flower Geezer.
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