Mikellaneous

My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter, Where Everything Must Be Said in 140 Characters or Less

I pride myself as The Prince of the Procrastinators -- or I will just as soon as I get around to it.

Item: "Baseball-logo caskets hit the market." Going to Heaven? Get buried at home plate. Hell? Plopped out foul. Purgatory? On-deck circle.

News item: "Shopper stops carjacker with frozen turkey." Stuffed the kicking out of him.

I was going to get one of those Batman suits & call it a Mikeman suit 'til a tailor referred to my inseam measurement as "The Stark Blight."

Prepping for the new 007 movie, I've rewatched "Casino Royale," punched out thugs, doomed megalomaniac kingpins & bedded princesses. Showtime!

News item: "The average person passes gas about 14 times per day." I've always known I was meant for greatness.