Doo Not Drop In

The Isle of Palms, proud home of edible Seagull Poop, is a lovely place to laze, but we brown bag it -- and wear oversized beach umbrella hats.

In deference to the apparent abundance of Shrimp Poop, we don't stroll in the surf either, unless our hip waders are waterproofed, shellacked, and Bactined, and have never been dunked in cocktail sauce.

Seagull Poop and Shrimp Poop are two reasons I am glad I am a vegetarian. I would not be a big fan of the seapoop, excepting, of course, those Johnny Depp pirate movies.

To date, I have found nothing to hint there are delectibles such as Chickpea Poop, Raisin Poop, Tofu Poop, Arugula Poop, or Pistachio Poop, which I consider to be a big plus on my dietary buffet.

I did, as a safety precaution, give up kidney beans, because indeed I am suspect of whatever they're juicing.
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