Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL
I Heard It Through the Tape, Mime
Paramount sent me this photo from "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa." The image appears to have been taken inside a tattered airplane, but it's also my dream home theatre, mostly due to the animals and 10-minute movie reels.
Oddly enough, the setting reminds me of one horrible day during the summer following high school.
Because of a personnel emergency, my projectionist union sent me to run the far-beyond tacky flicks at the Houston Street Art Cinema in Atlanta. I was recently 18 and scared to death to be downtown in a dive, but I was working my way to college. This place would prove to be more educational than Biology Lab.
The theatre was an old, greasy automobile garage that had been converted into a makeshift auditorium. They specialized in naughty 16mm silent films for gentlemen, cough cough, and their (where applicable) guests, hack hack cough hack shudder.
"I can hardly wait to hold you, feel my arms around you, how long I have waited..."
Show business.
Classy.
Thank goodness it wasn't "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head."
With apologies to Mr. Bacharach and, of course, B.J. Thomas.
Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL
What the Heck Was I Thinking?
Actual Messages I Wrote, Forgot, Then Found While Cleaning Out My Email Folders
08/27/06
I went to the dollar store. Then I ate a pizza.
My day is done.
10/20/08
I had never heard that song before. The good news is the dust mites just stormed out of the house. By the way, Gomer says, "Hey."
10/01/08
The hard drive goes numb. Much like me.
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Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL
CONFIDENTIAL Q&A
Questions for Mr. Durrett, if He Has a Moment, Posed by The Friday Five
1. If you were to die today, what would your last words be?
"Argglflbhghhhh gfkklhgalg glggphlbblllgk ... that the southland gave birth to the blues!"
2. What would you want your epitaph to say?
3. What song would you want played at your funeral?
"The Itsy-Bitsy Spider."
It's where I came in.
4. In lieu of flowers, what should loved ones do in your honor?
Defib paddles! Defib paddles! Defib paddles!
And no ticklin'.
5. What unfinished business would you wrap up?
Oh, I'm no different than most people. Cremation plans in place, all there's left for me is to meat brush on the Lynchburg Tennessee Jack Daniels BBQ Fiery Smokin' Hott (151 Proof).
Someone else can do the grill floss.
1. If you were to die today, what would your last words be?
"Argglflbhghhhh gfkklhgalg glggphlbblllgk ... that the southland gave birth to the blues!"
2. What would you want your epitaph to say?
3. What song would you want played at your funeral?
"The Itsy-Bitsy Spider."
It's where I came in.
4. In lieu of flowers, what should loved ones do in your honor?
Defib paddles! Defib paddles! Defib paddles!
And no ticklin'.
5. What unfinished business would you wrap up?
Oh, I'm no different than most people. Cremation plans in place, all there's left for me is to meat brush on the Lynchburg Tennessee Jack Daniels BBQ Fiery Smokin' Hott (151 Proof).
Someone else can do the grill floss.
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