Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

Lawn of the Dead

I attended a gathering at my friend Randy Stewart's house and while it was a borderline lovely event, some of the attendees were quite discombobulated and, yes, I'll say it, spooky.

I was rather concerned most of the night with their ghoulish stares, heavy-footed prances, and forlorn moans. I am considering suspecting it was the chili, but who can be sure?

I don't know how many of these stiffs I rescued from walking in place incessantly into the corners. I'd spin them around with a weenie tong and they'd shuffle aimlessly back to the party without a word of thanks.

Oh, I did get a couple of love bites. Must be cat people.

Also, having seen "Poltergeist," it is troubling to visit a new subdivision and discover your pal has a burial ground in his front yard. This can lead to chills and sequels.



I shan't nitpick. There was candy.

Ironically, several guests were nit enthusiasts and dibsed mine anyway.
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