Sips Saps

Continued From: "Pig Gulp"

What has happened to reasonable food servings at the movies?

I can tell you. I worked in theatres for decades and I know. Captive audiences are desperate to be taken advantage of by exhibitors reaping gargantuan profits. The bigger the item, the more they can extort.

And fools pay for the stomach punches again and again and again, which means prices are going up soon.

When the spirit is willing, the Sprite is six bucks.

Folks complain about oil profits, but nothing could possibly approach the lube you get at flick snack bars.

When I was 12, selling refreshments at the Emory Theatre in Atlanta, we offered drinks in two sizes.

The small cup topped at seven ounces. That's less than a juice glass. We were instructed to pack the paper glasses with ice before adding the cola. A customer would have been lucky to yield four ounces of liquid. The price was a dime.

The large cup held 12 ounces. That's how much is in a canned soda. With the pre-pour ice added, a patron would face seven ounces of thirst-quenching fluid, maybe. The cost, a whopping 15 cents, but that amount did include the sales tax.

I can't begin to tell you how many times I had customers balk at such an exorbitant charge. After all, Coca-Cola sold elsewhere for a nickel in a bottle.

Management insisted I promote the large-size drinks to the parched. Their common response was, "How big is large?"

I'd hold up the 12-ounce cup and there would often be an audible gasp, followed by, "I couldn't possibly drink all of that!"

It is unbelievable how beverages have increased during my experience by more than nine times in volume. If I indulged today, I'd have to hire a band of back-up bladders to get through a show.

I go to see the movie, not build a recurring, intimate relationship with a nastily-maintained mens room.

The last time I checked a candy counter, drink containers had expanded to 64 ounces. By now, they may be an above-ground pool.

You know it's bad when the Kiddie Kup comes with inflatable arm floats.
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