Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

I, Despot

From an Associated Press report, concerning prisoner Saddam Hussein:

...Details of the deposed Iraqi leader's life in U.S. military custody appear in the July issue of GQ magazine, based on interviews with five Pennsylvania National Guard members who went to Iraq in 2003 and were assigned to Saddam's guard detail...

The article said Saddam preferred Raisin Bran Crunch for breakfast, telling [guard] O'Shea, "No Froot Loops." ... For a time, his favorite snack was Cheetos, and when that ran out, Saddam would "get grumpy," the story said.

I am bewildered to receive this information. I don't know what to make of the details. Here's why:

1. My favorite snack food: Cheetos.

2. My preferred breakfast cereal: Raisin Bran Crunch.

3. I've shunned Froot Loops by name since 1963.

Disturbing information, very disturbing indeed. I must go seek comfort with my kitties, Uday and Qusay....

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