From Here to 'Eternity'

From here to Atlanta, we looped 170 miles to see this classic 1953 film at the Plaza, returning, from there to the shanty. 

We considered renaming our humble estate "Eternity," nevertheless Donna and I settled by secret ballot vote, continuing with the ever-popular "Cold Sore Mountain."

I prefer to call it "Portland," but we've been dieting.

Mikellaneous

My Recent Confessions and Observations on Twitter: 

Me and the kitties are batching it tonite. It's kind of like BONANZA, except we boys saddle up catnip rats. Why I'm not on TMZ is beyond me.

COP OUT (2010) with Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan is a numbingly bad movie, the HUDSON HAWK of its generation. Thanks, crummy pay-per-view.

My Twifficiency score is 39%. I'd like to thank Facebook and a life.

Watched SAN ANTONIO (1945) - A belated "thank you" to S.Z. "Cuddles" Sakall for taming the west. "Look! Look! Look! That horse is empty!"

I cannot get a word in edgewise. Curses, BarkOff. Where's my leash? I need a walk....

I see THE AMITYVILLE HORROR house has been sold. I could never purchase that place. I refuse to pay oozing costs.

Some social media this is. We never have a square dance or a bake sale. I want to back to my partner and swing my taw, eat donuts, and type.

Fast-breaking Q*bert discussion now happening on Twitter. My continuing education continues. Failed me again, Georgia State...

I'm toying with changing my name again. I kinda like The Revolutionary Way To Remove Tough Heavy Burned On Grease Durrett. "Buff" for short.

Headline: "Dealer selling J.D. Salinger's toilet." ... The ad copy writes itself: HOLDING CAUFIELD or CATCHER 'N' THE FLY.

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Big Weekend

Big Labor Day weekend, watching "The Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon" — and live-blogging about the show with Emulsion Compulsion. Here are some of my comments:

9:23 p.m.
Billy Gilman is still parking cars. He’ll sing for you shortly.

10:01 p.m.
Cugie, we still loathe you.

10:14 p.m.
Waiting for the Del Moore tribute….

10:18 p.m.
Okay. Roll the Mike Douglas tribute….

10:36 p.m.
We just phoned in our pledge. They gave us thanks and vouchers for Max Alexander shots.

10:39 p.m.
Someone asks: Why isn’t the Telethon being broadcast in HD?

Me: Must be planning Wayne Newton close-ups.

10:46 p.m.
[Maureen McGovern sings]

Ugh. Scat. There’s got to be a morning after…

10:47 p.m.
Waiting for Scatman Crothers tribute…

10:55 p.m.
Oh. Norm Crosby is going to be on. I thought he had been retired. Standing ovulations for everyone!!

11:04 p.m.
Local [station] cut-in.

Make it stop, Mommy.

11:31 p.m.
Oh, my god, it’s Liza!!

[Barry Manilow immersed in black sequins]

3:54 a.m.
You guys duck out? I watched a movie.

2:18 p.m.
Good morning! It’s 2:15 EDT. I woke up to Can-Can dancers. Gosh, is it 1954 already? I’m a tot. Where’s Zsa Zsa and Toulouse?

Worship me. I saw Billy Gilman during the overnight. Well, I heard him from the other room. I haven’t actually seen him, yet. He’s the youth representative. I’m afraid I’m represented by Phyllis Diller’s nanny. The lady spinning the plates while blowing Pall Mall smoke into Shecky Greene.

Gotta find Froot Loops… Gotta find Froot Loops…

No, I don’t mean the knock-off Harmonicats from the Aladdin…

2:48 p.m.
The Jersey Boys were just on. Mixed emotions. I find that squawky singing annoying, but toilet now amazingly unclogged.

Got me some nasal love…

3:03 p.m.
The Tasty Oreo Dancers?

3:15 p.m.
Waiting for Quart Glass in Jerry’s Mouth tribute…

3:48 p.m.
Thanks for dressing up, Carrot Top.

3:54 p.m.
We’ve got a world that swings!

4:19 p.m.
[Jerry concludes one of his esoteric speeches]

I give to the telethon for the Castle Films references.

4:41 p.m.
The Chaplin tribute was a little short, but nice.

4:42 p.m.
I think it’s from Castle Films.

4:44 p.m.
Waiting for the George “Foghorn” Winslow tribute…

5:01 p.m.
Giant dancing bee? Must be the guy from Univision on again.

5:37 p.m.
[Jerry exits]

Good night, everybody! Charo, start the car…

The Swell 'Boy'

Do we have a clip?

Yes, I brought some clips from "The Bellboy" (1960).

People wonder why I am such a Jerry Lewis fan. This first scene couldn't illustrate my delight more. It is pure Jerry and my spirits rise every time I see it. I laugh, also.

There is an axiom in show business for performers, "Less is more."

Not true. Not true...



"The Bellboy: The Elevator" via YouTube
Jerry could be quite magical, even while setting out some chairs. I love that a major motion picture had the courage to idle for more than two minutes to service a gag. We'd never see this today.



"The Bellboy: Chair Duty" via YouTube
Off the top of my head, this musical pantomime may be the first of its kind in Jerry's solo films. Count Basie's "Cute" in "CinderFella" was shot earlier, but released after "The Bellboy." I'm confident of having seen Jerry perform this one on television before it lived on in the film.



"The Bellboy: Stanley Conducts the Orchestra" via YouTube

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"The Bellboy" newspaper ad courtesy of Emulsion Compulsion.

The Sell, Boy

In "100 Things About Me #107" and "'House of Hits,' Then and Now," I wrote about one of my hobbies.

I am fascinated by movie advertising in all of its forms, especially coming attractions trailers, print campaigns, and posters.

As early as age 8, I spent more than an hour some days analyzing the movie ads in the local newspaper.

Indeed. I remember the first of those extended sessions like it was July, although it was the July in 1960. I thumbed through "The Atlanta Constitution," spreading the entertainment section and myself across our living room floor. From the prime vantage point of elbows on the carpet and palms under my chin, my eyes landed and focused extensively on "The Bellboy."

My memory is the above advertisement was the opening "Now Showing" placement for the first-run engagement at the Fox Theatre. "The Bellboy" filled a quarter page of newsprint, a large amount of display space in the era. I was captivated by Jerry Lewis' image, of course, plus the comic illustrations and font styles, all of which made a big impression on me.

I checked the papers each subsequent day, watching the art change through various designs from the Paramount Pictures marketing department. I had to wait six weeks, perhaps, for "The Bellboy" to brighten the screen at my local theatre. These publicity diversions kept me energized during the interim.

I saw the motion picture in three different theatrical situations during the decade and have watched it umpteen times on television. I remain very fond of the film, these advertisements, and the full-color poster originals in my collection.

Before writing this piece, I had not planned to view the movie, but I found myself slipping the DVD into the machine. I settled back on the couch. The brisk 71 minutes flew by, as did the previous 50 years of fun.

"The Bellboy" has never let me down and, so, I tipped the guy.

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"The Bellboy" ads courtesy of Emulsion Compulsion

I Got Nuthin'

Consolation Video: "Chicken Monkey Duck" via YouTube 

Spy vs. Sly vs. Sky

My movie viewing is generally determined by informed curiosity, then scheduled days to months in advance.

That said, without warning, Donna and I do get The Call of the Drive-in. The primal urge to experience outdoor motion pictures overwhelms our artistic sensibilities and we simply must go sit under the stars, watch 24 frames per second, and meet some new bugs.

It happened again, one recent afternoon, so I went online to peruse the offerings at the 10 drive-in theatre screens we visit within 100 miles of our yearning to be flicked.

With my immense affinity for wordplay, I cannot begin to tell you how acutely difficult it was for me to not round-trip the 181 miles to attend "Vampires Suck" and "Dinner for Schmucks."

The bragging rights alone would have made me proud!

Alas, the dwindling time element before darkness precluded the excursion and its Snickers^®ed snickers. We were forced to choose fare closer to home.

The least objectionable program began with "Salt."

Yes. We did have the popcorn, but I was speaking about "Salt," the film.

Sorry. It's that wordplay thang. I can't help myself, Sugar Pie Honey Bunch.



"Salt" stars Angelina Jolie as Jason Bourne, but without those pesky licensing fees.

We were happy with the show. Typical contemporary secret agent stuff, although there are sufficient twists to surprise. It is remarkable how many creeps you can kill by pummeling them with an array of linty, beer-fizzed Brad Pitt soul patches.

I can't say we enjoyed the second feature, "The Expendables." We slept through much of it -- and that's saying a lot because this one has more firepower than World War II in the Pacific or a Tyra Banks hissy.

Sylvester Stallone and a passel of action hulks "blowed things up real good," as critics Big Jim McBob and Billy Sol Hurok deduced in their review. "REAL good!"

Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Steve Austin, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger join the mayhem with weapon of mass destruction: Marjorie Main, wielding her frying pan.

Star Sighting

At first, I was skeptical. But, then I knew. 

It was the real Ann Coulter.