Mike Durrett: CONFIDENTIAL

Top 10 Reasons I Shaved My Beard

10. Made me look older and people stuck mirrors under my nose.

9. Three-bladed razor doomed to life as cheese grater.

8. Soggy, Pampered tots climbed onto my lap to ask for Christmas Elmos.

7. Soggy, pampered Kate Capshaw climbed onto my lap to ask "Mr. Spielberg, darling," for a part in next picture.

6. Food found in whiskers stale -- and I'm not man enough to sprout Ziploc seal.

5. Decided purchasing of dental floss quicker than growing it.

4. Easy way to lose a pound towards fitting into my beach thong.

3. Missed being questioned about Rue McClanahan and Betty White.

2. Short stubble required for my appearances in "WHAM!Mania."

And the number one reason I shaved my beard...

Neighborhood's Bigfoot sightings up 100%.

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