Remembering Harold Lloyd, the Man on the Clock

I couldn't let this day clock out without mentioning Harold Lloyd, one of silent film comedy's big three, alongside Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin. Today would have been Lloyd's 118th birthday, and people still talk about this breathtaking stunt sequence from his 88-year-old film, "Safety Last." Movies just don't get much better or dangerous, with or without your newfangled computer assistance.



Harold Lloyd: "Safety Last" (1923) via YouTube

W.C. Fields and M.D.

I've been annoying people regularly through more than four decades with my raves and enthusiastic recitations of all things W.C. Fields.

W.C. Fields image by twm1340 via FlickrNew York's Film Forum has come to the rescue, reinforcing the lectures. Those kindly info ferrets have uncovered several quotations from revered cinema historians on the topic of, as Fields' called himself, "The Great Man."

"The greatest comic the movies have given us." – David Thomson

"The toughest and most warmly human of all screen comedians." – James Agee

"Quite probably the funniest single individual America has ever produced." – William K. Everson

So there.

Twenty-four W.C. Fields features and his six short subjects are scheduled at the theatre during a 12-day retrospective of the comedian's motion picture glories made between 1915 and 1941. Several of the productions remain wrongly, elusively unavailable to me otherwise.

It grieves this big-eyed lad that I won't be able to visit Manhattan for the festival due to prior commitments and my fears of flying and street corner accordionists with de rigueur rabid monkeys.

To compensate, I've decided to recreate the series at my home, time permitting, plus the spotty availability of prints is an issue causing me to substitute W.C. Fritos commercials into the programs instead..

I'm excited. I'm already calling my wife "Miss Plupp" and she's to address me as "Eustace McGargle." If she forgets, I'll still answer to "Mahatma Kane Jeeves," "Otis Criblecoblis," and "Larsen E. Whipsnade."

Speaking of gargle, the series kicks-off with "The Dentist" (1932), one of several Fields two-reelers he wrote and starred in for producer Max Sennett and Paramount Pictures. This 21-minute concoction was quite outrageous in its day and remains a surprising spectacle that was widely censored for some questionable imagery in the ol' dental chair.

I'm ready to start. Join me. Grab your popcorn and spit sink and swallow "The Dentist."



W.C. Fields in "The Dentist" (1932) via YouTube

And @TheJerryMathers as The Tweeter

I've enjoyed "The Trouble With Harry," Alfred Hitchcock's droll dark comedy, three or four times over the years. Whenever I think of it, the first image to pop into my head is always the same, focused on the film's most remarkable couple. Yesterday's recollection was no different and I was moved to share this thought on Twitter:

Is there more perfect, adorable casting than Shirley MacLaine & Jerry Mathers as mother & son in Hitchcock's THE TROUBLE WITH HARRY (1955)?

Leave it to Twitter. It wasn't long until I discovered this surprising reply by one of my childhood heroes:

From @TheJerryMathers:
@MikeDurrett - It was Shirley's first film and I'm introducing it at the @TCM Classic Film Festival (April 28-May1)!

My turn:

How great to hear from @TheJerryMathers re: THE TROUBLE WITH HARRY (1955). Wish I could be with you @TCM FF. You're swell in this, age 6?

I'll never wash my computer again!



"The Trouble With Harry" Original Theatrical Trailer via YouTube
Narrated by Frank Nelson and Art Gilmore
Follow @TheJerryMathers and @MikeDurrett on Twitter

Secrets to a Successful 30-Year Marriage #9

On this day in 1978 -- yep, April Fool's Day, and this remembrance is completely true -- Donna and I went out on our first courting around the town. I took her to see a Theater of the Stars play in Atlanta. It was Neil Simon's "Come Blow Your Horn," headlining Lyle Waggoner, Molly Picon, and Lou Jacobi.

And here we are, 33 years later, 30 in wedded bliss and assorted food courts.

It worked.

Behold: Secret to a Successful 30-Year Marriage #9:

Lou Jacobi is an aphrodisiac.

Remembering Elizabeth Taylor

Elizabeth Taylor: "What's My Line?" Mystery Guest (1954) via YouTube 
My favorite Elizabeth Taylor movies are the early ones, starting with, in a small role, the wonderful "Lassie Come Home" (1943) and, in full a-star-is-born mode, "National Velvet" (1944). The others I like are "Little Women" (1949), "Father of the Bride" (1950), "Father's Little Dividend" (1951), "A Place in the Sun" (1951), and "Giant" (1956).

Elizabeth Taylor is connected to two milestones in my life, working at the Emory Theatre in Atlanta, GA. When I wasn't selling popcorn, I was in training to become a professional motion picture machine operator, a dream for this boy, age 11-12.

• I accomplished my first big deal reel-to-reel change-over from one projector to the next during our showings of her movie "The V.I.P.s" (1963).
• Throughout the weeks of "Cleopatra" (1963), I was taught how to thread the 35mm film into the machines with precision.

Image via WikipediaI have clear, fond memories of those days and I especially recall the final footage of "Cleopatra" reel #2. Cleo undergoes a nude body massage, exposing heretofore uncharted-by-Mikey bosom.

Although the scene doesn't last long, I never missed observing the end of reel #2 each time we ran the epic. I didn't know exactly why I was fascinated with her flesh. I just knew I was fascinated. Exactly.

Plus, I wondered, "Is 48 B.C. her bra size?" They said she was in 48 B.C.

I grasped nothing of ancient history, nor ancient lingerie.

Nevertheless, my training with Elizabeth Taylor was not only professional, but also enlightening!

I Got Nuthin'

Consolation Video: "Toddlers & Tiaras With Tom Hanks" via "Jimmy Kimmel Live" on YouTube

Meanwhile...

Morty's joining me in celebrating Jerry Lewis' 85th birthday today. That snoopy cat jumped onto my desk and computer while I was looking at Jerry video from German television. Morty went nuts following the musical pantomime. He'd track Jerry around the screen and enthusiastically scratch and thrash at the comedian to obliterate him from this earth.

I was proud Morty could observe man at his most dignified.

We watched the silliness four times. Here it is:



Jerry Lewis: "Am Laufenden Band" (1977) via YouTube

Remembering Jane Russell in 2-D!

Image via Wikipedia

And, ahem, 38D-24-36. 

Bob Hope, Wikipedia reminds us, "introduced her as 'the two and only Jane Russell' and 'Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands.'"

She certainly brimmed with sex appeal and enthusiasm. Looking at these clips and others, I am reminded of how sweet, lovely, comical, spunky, and talented Jane Russell could be. She was also underused by Hollywood and that is regrettable.



Jane Russell, Bob Hope & Roy Rogers: "Wing Ding" from "Son of Paleface" (1952) via YouTube


Jane Russell: "Ain't There Anyone Here for Love" from "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" (1953) via YouTube


Jane Russell: "You Know" from "Macao" (1951) via YouTube
Previously: Remembering Jane Russell in 3-D!

Remembering Jane Russell in 3-D!

In 2003, I attended the first-ever World 3-D Film Expo in Los Angeles. Grauman's Egyptian Theatre hosted 10 days of rarely screened films from the 1953-54 3-D boom era in the correct dual projection process. I saw it all, three dozen features and numerous cartoons, short subjects, and oddities presented in, count 'em, three dimensions.

Due to travel issues, I nearly skipped the closing night movies, but I was able to rearrange my schedule. By doing so, I discovered the joys of "The French Line" (1954), Jane Russell's follow-up to her popular and iconic "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" (1953). I am not exaggerating when I say I am so glad I did not miss this one, the motion picture of which the ads of its day boasted, "See Jane Russell in 3-D - She'll Knock BOTH Your Eyes Out!"

I'll say.

Arguably, Miss Russell was more famous, certainly more notorious, for her buxom body than her acting talents. Producer Howard Hughes recognized the combination of unplain Jane and state-of-the-art optical illusions were a publicist's dream and a potential financial goldmine, so "The French Line" hitched a ride on the 3-D bandwagon along the road to scandal.

This lighthearted romantic musical comedy, set aboard an ocean cruise ship, leads our star to an impromptu song and dance in the showroom. That tune, "Looking for Trouble," and her revealing costume -- she packed this little black dress just in case? -- caused a sensation with the public and the censors. Eventually, Hughes caved under pressure, recutting the sequence for American audiences. The altered version is the one that went into release in 2-D theatrical engagements and has been utilized for a half century of television runs. The uncut 3-D version was withdrawn from circulation until the film festival I attended, when we were shown a surviving forbidden print.

Those four minutes were outrageous, unbelievable, surreal, memorable, hilarious, and essential.

And eye-popping! Yesss!

Thanks to the Internet and Mr. Hughes, wherever you are, benevolent sir, here is the original footage (although not viewable in 3-D).


 Jane Russell: "Looking for Trouble" from "The French Line" via YouTube
The sanitized version of this scene follows below. The objectionable material was covered by substituting the wide angle master shot, so Jane's skimpy attire is distant and underplayed. Her mid-song monologue, photographed much closer, has been deleted.



Revised Version: Jane Russell: "Looking for Trouble" from "The French Line" via YouTube

Next: Remembering Jane Russell in 2-D!

Off the Wall

Saving Facebook: My Confessions: 

On the Spouse's Email 

Mike 
"Man faces prison for reading wife's email." — Heavens no! I would never do that! I might inadvertently learn about pottery & napkin rings.

Friend Frank Thompson
I sometimes read Claire's because it's fun to hear about her dopey friends. For instance, there's this one guy she just calls The Idiot who can't do anything right and is real messy around the house and who just doesn't suspect a thing. He sounds like a real doofus!

On Living It Up

Friend Sally
Painted the stairs beige today!

Mike
No, Sally. It's "Paint the town red. Paint the town red!" *sigh*

Image via Wikipedia

On Newsmakers

Friend Peter
I think Michael Moore is trying to out crazy Charlie Sheen.

Mike
I have trouble taking anyone serious who looks like he ate Beaver Cleaver.

On Movie Etiquette

News Item
Man Shot Dead for Eating Popcorn Too Loudly During "Black Swan"

Mike
Well, this seems a bit harsh. I reserve shooting for talkers.

Friend Claire
Or wrapper rustlers

Mike
Broken knees and a mandatory admittance to a Sandler.

Friend Frank
Listen, it's stern but it's fair.

Friend Bill
He was probably so p----d at the movie he took it out on the popcorn eater.

Friend Joy
People texting during movies make me homicidal, I feel him.

Friend Mark
And they say that popcorn is a healthy snack.

I wonder if they will add this as a deleted scene in the DVD release of this movie. And another thing, I always leave the shooting of the audience to the ushers, let them do their job.

Mike
When I was a kid, Mark, printed on the packaging: "POPCORN IS GOOD ROUGHAGE." We were warned.

Friend of Friend Angeles
What flavor popcorn?

Mike
Battered.

Slackjaw Dumbstruck: Astrud Gilberto: 'Bim Bom'

Tall and tan and young and lip-synching.

The guy in the tux walks my cummerbund.



"Astrud Gilberto: Bim Bom" (1966) via YouTube
(via PCL LinkDump)

'Cute' in the 'House'

During this week's "House M.D." episode, imagine my surprise when the grumpy doctor mentioned he had been watching Jerry Lewis' lighthearted "CinderFella" on

television. That motion picture struck me as incongruous to House's temperament, but there it was in a flashback, minutes later. We saw a bit of pantomime and listened to Count Basie and His World Renowned Band's classic "Cute" throughout the TV sequence. The original 1960 movie scene is posted below with Fella actively enjoying his radio.

Full disclosure: One of my cats is named Fella, after Lewis and this film. My love for Count Basie and swing jazz is also rooted in the following footage.



"CinderFella: Cute" via YouTube

Big Weekend

Ansel Adams: "The Tetons and the Snake River" (1942), public domain image via Wikipedia

Big weekend, moseying on over to the cowboy museum.

They had a large retrospective from acclaimed photographer Ansel Adams, including western landscapes and objects in black-and-white Gelatin Silver prints.

As it so happens, coincidence of coinkydinks, I am a photographer, too, although I work in color and cell phone.

And the 21st century.

My images on paper are rendered in brown chocolate fingerprints.

Here is my most recent western exposure of a must-have artifact, currently on exhibit at the museum. I call this photo journalism, "The Little Napkin Dispenser on the Prayerful Cantina" (2011).

Authenticity pending, but I can vouch for the subject, which appears to be keenly to scale, and not a reproduction -- definitely, one of a kind, from my lips.

I Got Nuthin'

Consolation Video: "We Are Smoking in Front of the Building" from "The Bob and Tom Show" via Google Video

I Got Nuthin'

Consolation Video: "Joi Lansing: Web of Love" via Scopitone and YouTube
Thanks to Frank Thompson.

I Got Nuthin'

Consolation Video: Larry Griswold on "The Frank Sinatra Show" (1951) via YouTube
Thanks to Frank Thompson

90 Lines of Comedy Writing Happiness and Hi-Jinks

I've been rewatching a lot of the timeless Laurel and Hardy comedies. My favorite of the team's features may very well be "Block-Heads" (1938), although "Sons of the Desert" (1933) and "Way Out West" (1937) are strong contenders.

Looking through some of Stanley and Oliver's movie posters, I was dumbstruck to find this "Block-Heads" image with the headline, "90 Minutes of Happiness and Hi-Jinks."

We all know motion picture advertising is steeped in hyperbole, of course, but the official running time of this film is only 57 minutes, less than two-thirds of the published promise!

And, by all industry definitions I've ever encountered, that is three minutes short of the minimum recognized length to term a production as a feature. So, two big lies right there.

I could easily argue the project has more happiness and hi-jinks than most 90-minute alleged comedies, but the stated truth in advertising is grossly dishonest. Thanks, block-heads!



(Poster art via Laurel Hardy Archive on Facebook)

I Got Nuthin'

Consolation Video: "Jay Thomas and The Lone Ranger" via YouTube

Big Weekend With Brian Regan

Big weekend, Snowbound: Day 6: I hiked out of the house, through the ice and snow and sludge and forest to the main road and the waiting getaway car. My wife and I traveled to north Atlanta to enjoy Brian Regan in concert.

Later, I hiked back through the ice and snow and sludge and forest to the house and wondered why I was Snowbound: Day 7.



"Brian Regan: Growing Older" via YouTube



"Brian Regan: Dinner Party" via YouTube



"Brian Regan: Walkie Talkie!" via YouTube

Off the Wall

Saving Facebook: My Confessions: 

On New Year's Eve

Mike
My wife has informed me our Mickey Rourke-themed New Year's Eve Party is not going to happen. Guests are hereby released. You may bathe now.

Friend Claire
But what about all the tattoos and silver teeth I just finished getting?!?!

Mike
Well, you could still come over. We've misplaced the scratch pad and bottle opener.

On Christmas Wishes

I'm dreaming of a lottery-winning Christmas. Gotta reupholster the cats.

I did *win* 20-something bucks in a Microsoft class action suit. The check came last week. I may have to settle for spray painting the cats.

On Christmas Wishes, Too

Mike
The holiday pressure is raining down on me. Divine intervention is advised. Do I ask for a PajamaGram? Or a Christmas Snuggie?

Friend Bill
I'm sure you'd look real cute in the Snuggie!

Mike
Of course. Yes. Well, once the tailor lets it out some at the waist, legs, ankles, neck, and chins -- and if no one sees me in profile or light or without several stiff belts in 'em, maybe some Ambien and blindfolds.

On Thanks and Giving

Sis-in Law Jenifer
Oh, and thank you for our gifts. Did Donna tell you what you got us? LOL

Mike
As a matter of fact, I have an appointment with her next week to tell me what I gave to you.

On Michael Jackson

Cover of Tito Jackson

Friend Ray
Here in Atlanta, every New Year's Eve they have a party downtown.... This year's entertainment is ''Tito Jackson sings the hits of the Jackson 5.'' Tito sang on nothing the J5 did! Next year maybe they can get "Danny Bonaduce sings the hits of the Partridge Family."

Mike
Tito Fever. Catch it!

Deborah, Friend of a Friend
Is there a Jackson family member who's not trying to make money off MJ's death?

Mike
Stonewall.

Friend Ray
Mike, as I remember, you saw the Jackson Five @ Lenox. Any special memories of Tito?

Mike
I don't recall the full-Tito Jackson Five being at the Lenox Square Theatre [where I was a projectionist], but I did show "ET" to Michael Jackson when we were playing that movie. Ironically, Michael was already morphing into an extra-terrestrial. I'm glad I could provide him some cosmetic choices to peruse.

Around that time, I also saw and ran a movie for Amy Carter at the Lenox. Ironically, she was on tour singing the hits of the Jackson Five.

Friend Frank Thompson
That Amy Carter could do a mean Moonwalk.

Friend Ray
She was at the airport* singing the hits of the Hartsfield-Jackson 5.

*Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson Airport